Sunday, 9 January 2011

Caught in the act!

'I don't stand on your plants. I'm always careful where I put my feet', he says. But we know otherwise, don't we?! The camera cannot lie!!
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I feel as if I have been wading through treacle since Christmas. Everything has become an enormous effort but at least I haven't got flu or even a cold, and I'm thankful for that. Two days after Boxing Day I experienced very unpleasant sensations accompanied by acute anxiety. They last all day and eventually I rang NHS Direct though couldn't speak to anyone as they were swamped with calls. Another number got me through to a local hospital where the doctor I spoke to was very reassuring but suggested an ECG at my own doctor's surgery might put my mind at rest. I had even packed a bag as I felt so weird and was convinced I was going in to hospital. I only mention all this in case anyone out there is experiencing similar problems. My ECG was fine, blood pressure fine, blood tests all OK. I seems that anxiety and stress have been building up since my mother died last Easter. At the time I felt numb and unable to grieve and have been advised to try bereavement counselling - my first appointment is tomorrow afternoon. I am pinning all my hopes on it and can't wait to feel like me again. I have found that essential oils are comforting. I have a couple of books by Valerie Ann Worwood which have been very helpful. The Fragrant Pharmacy deals with physical conditions and I have often turned to it over the years, and the Fragrant Mind is the one where I found my recipe for relieving anxiety - 5 drops of Lavender oil, 10 of Geranium and 15 of Bergamot in 2 tablespoons of Sweet Almond oil (or good old vegetable cooking oil). A small amount of this mixture can be used in an oil burner, put into the bath, used for massage or inhaled from a tissue. It really does work, along with deep breathing.
It is a lovely bright day today, so I decided a breath of fresh air and a bit of gentle exercise would be good. The sun hadn't warmed up these mahonia flowers sufficiently to release their perfume but they are a welcome sight.

Who would think that dead leaves could look so lovely. It's a pity I couldn't capture the slight sparkle as well.


Our mini-waterfall up the footpath was looking rather nice. It is very cooling in summer to hear the water on a day when it is almost too hot to be outside. We can hardly see the water in summer when the trees and bushes are in full leaf.

The light was a bit strong and has lost some detail of the mosses and fungi on this tree stump.


I couldn't resist a picture of Mrs. Blackbird right beside the path and only about 2ft from where I was standing. She looks a bit wary but was in no hurry to fly off, unlike the dozens of others who must have shares in the company which makes the batteries I use for my camera. I just get them nicely focused and off they go before I can press the button. I must use more power switching it on and off, than I ever do taking pictures!
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18 comments:

The Weaver of Grass said...

So sorry to hear this Heather. I think the idea of counselling may well be a good one. As you know i had a seizure seven weeks ago and was unconscious all day. I have seen a neurologist this week and I feel better having talked it over with an expert. He can't predict whether I shall have another or not but at least I know what's what now. Best of luck for the appointment and do let me know how you get on.

Raph G. Neckmann said...

I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety and stress, Heather. Bereavement counselling sounds good, as it should help to release your pent up grief. I hope it goes well. I'm sure your own determination and positivity will get you back to being yourself again.

Standing on plants?! Oh dear, I think I'm guilty of that too - although I do have the nexcuse of my neck being so long that it's a lot further down to see where I'm putting my feet!

Heather said...

Thankyou Pat and Raph for your kind and thoughtful comments. Glad you too are feeling reassured Pat - the 'unknown quantity' has a lot to answer for!

Kat Mortensen said...

Sorry to hear about your anxiety and stress. I lost my dad two years ago and I still get those feelings now and again.
I think your walk was a good idea and I could see the sparkles on the leaves where the frost had left its mark.

When I came to see your top photo, I was expecting a deer, or some creatur - very surprised to see those human legs!

Take care!

Kat

Miriam Weaver said...

I think counseling can work my mother in law died a couple of years ago and it helped my Father in Law. My Mum died in May, I too found it hard to grieve at first. There was so much else to deal with! Later talking about her has helped and it is at last getting easier, not that I have forgotten her but life is getting easier without her.
Hope it works for you.

Gina said...

Hope the counselling helps Heather and you start to feel better soon.

Doreen G said...

Hugs Heather and I hope things improve very soon.

Julie said...

I am so sorry to hear all this Heather and I do hope the counselling helps you. I can empathise as I have been experiencing signs of anxiety and stress myself with looking after my mum. I have been trying not to show my husband that I'm upset by it all but Friday I lost it completely (a piece of music set me off) and had a full-on cry. I think it was a case of 'better out than in' and it did help. Bereavement is so difficult to deal with and we all handle it in different ways, so many emotions from sadness to anger, to the happiness of memories, and guilt. Talking about it with a counsellor will help I'm sure. Look after yourself. xx

Carol Q said...

So sorry to hear you've been struggling Heather. Haven't had to deal with this yet but can imagine it's one of the worst life events to experience even if half expected. I've heard of the book you mentioned. Glad to hear it's proving of use. I always put oils in my steam iron. Makes for a much more enjoyable experience.

Penny said...

I hope all goes well, I sometimes think the stress of Christmas doesnt help either and it all comes together at that time.

DIAN said...

Sending you hugs and good thoughts: sometimes counselling helps and of course time and the support of others is good too.

Do take care.

Robin Mac said...

So sorry to hear you are struggling Heather, I do hope the counselling helps. I love the photos you have taken, and the leaves do look to have a sparkle to me! I am glad you have muddled your way onto facebook. I am there too - to keep in touch with younger members of my family - but I don't know what to do most of the time, or even understand the terms!!! Take care. Would you believe the verification word is whingbin - not that you are whinging at all.

Heather said...

Thankyou so much to all my dear blog friends - your support and kind thoughts help too. Robin - I think 'whingbin' is a great word! It would make a good password. I

Carol said...

I hope you feel better soon Heather, good luck with the counselling

maggi said...

I am so sorry to her about how down you have been feeling. I do hope the counselling works.

Jules said...

Good for you getting out for the walk, when I'm feeling less flappy we'll have to go up Hacket Lane with the camera and spot 'lovely things'.
Big hugs, lots of love and keep looking outside for those blessings.....love you x x x

BT said...

I'm so glad I popped over today Heather. Sorry to hear about your feelings and experiences with your health. Grief can do funny things and you are right to seek help. I do hope it will get better for you. Much love and healing thoughts, Gina xxxx

BT said...

I forgot to say how lovely your photos are, especially your super waterfall, it's really worked out well, hasn't it? Your lady blackbird seems to have a speckled chest.....